T2+Narrative

[|T2 Narrative Writing]

__Friday 24 June 2011__

A Night Never to Remember

“Jimmy hurry up and leave to get the food for the party tonight.” “Ok, ok I’m leaving soon, but where is the list for what we need tonight.” “I think it’s on the bench by the toaster.”

Jogging over toward the toaster and grabbing the list I then turned toward the door and ran out slamming the door shut. As I quickly ran down the stairs and jumped into my shiny black striped Porsche Career I carefully and slowly drove out of my driveway to prevent my car from being scratch. Speeding down the road I headed for the New World supermarket.

Walking inside New World I grabbed a trolled and pulled the list out of my ripped jean pocket and then looked for the chips. I grabbed two of each flavour and then searched for some lollies. Carefully I thought long and hard about what lollies I should get because their was some much to choose from. I decided to get some chocolate lollies and then some sweet and sour lollies as well. Placing them in the rusty trolley I grabbed the rest of what I thought I should get. Arriving at the checkout to my surprise I saw dozens of police cars parked across the road. I looked across the building and saw two police officers talking to what looked like the owner of New World. The man started to approach me and then veered to his right and started talking to the women at my checkout. The police man asked the women “Have you seen or heard anything from across the street?” The lady at my checkout looked at the man blatantly and then replied “No I haven’t, Why?” “Their has been a robbery at the bank and we're just looking for witnesses.” He responded. I looked at the women and she looked shocked. The police officers left and then the women continued scanning my food. Finishing scanning my food she packed the food into some bags. Passing the bank heading for home I saw investigators looking inside for clues and evidence.

Turning into my driveway I grabbed the food and walked up the stairs to my apartment. Swinging the door open I chucked the food on the bench and then called out “George I’m home, where are you?” “Jimmy I’m in the lounge putting balloons up.” “Why do we need balloons?” Jimmy replied. “It’s a party and I thought that it would look better with them.” “Jimmy can you prepare the food.”

I moaned, and then pored the lollies and chips into a white bowl along with the rest of the food. “Jimmy, have you finished preparing the food?” asked George “Yes” Jimmy replied.

“Jimmy their’s someone at the door for our party.” “I’ll get it then.” “Hello Luke welcome to our party.”

Within minutes I realised that Nicholas, James, Luke, Keb, Taylor and Daniel had all arrived at the party and that we could start to have some fun. Looking at Nicholas and James they were hanging out with each other and talking about how good the party is and their basketball game. I saw Keb, Taylor and Luke and they were all sitting on the couch watching the football and scoffing lollies and chips into their mouths at the same time but they looked suspicious. Something wasn’t wright because I looked outside and then saw that Keb’s car had four big black sacks in the back seat with what looked like money inside. I thought I must’ve been dreaming and then turned my focus to Daniel. He was the D.J for the night and he choose all the song’s that I like. I shouted to Daniel “Keep the music down in case the neighbours complain about the noise. The party was going great and when the football finished the party was over, and I started to say goodbye to everyone but before everyone had left there was a knock at the door. Opening the door standing there were two police officers. I thought that my neighbours had complained about the noise but instead of asking anything one of the men grabbed me and chucked me in his car along with George.

Opening my eye’s I realised that I was in the police station with George. I saw a police officer walking toward me. He entered the room and slammed the door behind him. I looked around and realised that I was in a prison sell. I asked the man “Why are we here? What did we do?” The man looked at me like I was stupid and then replied “You know what you did.” You robbed the bank this morning and don’t think that you didn’t because we have video footage of you and your mate robbing it.” I didn’t know what to say but then the man keeped giving us more information. “What are you going to do to us.” mumbled George. “We will keep you here for the night.” The man walked away and shut the prison door behind him.

Waking up the next morning I saw that George was nowhere to be seen. I asked one of the guards where George had gone but he took no notice of me. A man walked up to my door and then opened it and grumbled “Your free to go.” I looked at the man and wondered why I was released if they thought that I had robbed the bank. I stood up and then walked out and then was given a ride home. Arriving home I opened the door and then sitting on the couch was George. I was so relieved. I decided to call everyone who was at the party and tell them what had happened and why we were taken to the police station. I decided to ring Daniel first but as soon as he knew that it was me he hang up. The same thing happened to me with everyone else, apart from Keb. When I rang he said “Hello and asked what happened” I told him everything, but before I hang up and said goodbye he announced “It was me, I did everything to set you two up.”

__Thursday 23 June 2011__

**Comment: Good story Kyle, with the twist at the end :+)**

**Now that you are about to edit** **Next Step - Target** **We will keep your target the same as before. Work on using a variety of sentence beginning and length to add detail to your writing. 11 out of 14 sentences at the beginning start with 'I'.**

**Hopping over to the toaster I grabbed the list for the supermarket. Heading out of the house I turned the door handle and ran out slamming the door shut. Next I jumped down the stairs and moved towards my shiny black striped Porsche Career. Once inside I slowly drove out of his driveway and sped down the road heading for New World.** A Night Never to Remember

“Jimmy hurry up and leave to get the food for the party tonight.” “Ok, ok I’m leaving soon, but where is the list for what we need tonight.” “I think it’s on the bench by the toaster.”

I hopped over toward the toaster and grabbed the list. I then turned toward the door and ran out slamming the door shut. I jumped down the stairs and jumped into his shiny black striped Porsche Career and carefully and slowly drove out of his driveway. I sped down the road heading for the “New World” supermarket.

Arriving at New World he walked inside and grabbed a trolley. I pulled the list out of his ribbed jean pocket and then looked for the chips. I grabbed two of each flavour and then searched for the lollies. I thought long and hard about what lollies he should get because their was some much to choose from. I decided to get some chocolate lollies and then some sweet and sour lollies as well. I placed them in his rusty trolley and then grabbed the rest of what he thought he should get. I got to the checkout and then looked across the street. He saw dozens of police cars all parked across the road. I looked across the building and saw two police officers talking to what looked like the owner of New World. He was approaching me and then veered to his right and started talking to the women at my checkout. The police man asked “Have you seen or heard anything from across the street?” The lady at my checkout looked at the man blatantly and then said “No I haven’t, Why?” “Their has been a robbery across the road and were just looking for witnesses.” He replied. I looked at the women and she looked sad and terrified. The police officers left and then the women continued to scan my food. She finished scanning and then packed them in bags. Passing the bank I saw investigators looking inside for clues and evidence.

I arrived home and grabbed his food and walked up the stairs to his apartment. I opened the door and chucked the food on the bench and then called out “George I’m home.” “Where are you?” “Jimmy I’m in the lounge putting balloons up.” “Why do we need balloons?” Jimmy replied. “It’s a party and every party needs balloons otherwise it’s not a party.”

I grabbed the lollies off of the bench and pored them into a white bowl. I got the rest of his food and put them into dishes so everyone could nibble on them. “Jimmy, have you finished preparing the food?” asked George “Yes” Jimmy replied.

“Jimmy their’s someone at the door for our party.” “I’ll get it then.” “Hello Luke welcome to our party.”

Within minutes I realised that Nicholas, James, Luke, Keb, Taylor and Daniel arrived at the party and that we could start to have some fun. Nicholas and James were hanging out with each other talking about how good the party is. I saw Keb, Taylor and Luke all sitting on the couch watching the football and scoffing lollies and chips into their mouths at the same time. Something wasn’t wright because I looked outside and then saw that Keb’s car had four big black sacks in the back seat with what looked like money. I thought I must have been dreaming and then turned m focus to Daniel. He was the D.J for the night and he is really good at choosing song’s because I liked everyone of them that he choose. I shouted to Daniel “Keep the music down in case the neighbours complain about the noise. Before I knew it the party was over, and I started to say goodbye to everyone. There was a knock at the door. I opened the door and saw two police officers standing at the door. I thought that my neighbours had complained about the noise but instead of asking anything One of the men grabbed me and chucked me in his car along with George.

Opening my eye’s I realised that I was in the police station with George. I saw a police officer walking toward me. He entered the room and slammed the door behind him. I looked around and realised that I was in a prison sell. I asked the man “Why are we here? What did we do?” The man looked at me like I was stupid and then replied “You know what you did.” You robbed the bank this morning and don’t think that you didn’t because we have video footage of you and your mate robbing it.” I didn’t know what to say but then the man keeped giving us more information. “What are you going to do to us.” mumbled George. “We will keep you here for the night.” The man walked away and shut the prison door.

The next morning I woke up and saw that George was nowhere to be seen. I asked one of the guards where George had gone but he took no notice of me. A man walked up to my door and then opened it and grumbled “Your free to go.” I looked at the man and wondered why I was released if they thought that I had robbed the bank. I stood up and then walked out and then was given a ride home. Arriving home I opened the door and then sitting on the couch was George. I was so relieved. I decided to call everyone who was at the party and tell them what had happened and why we were taken to prison. I decided to ring Daniel first but as soon as he knew that it was me he hang up. The same thing happened to me with everyone else, apart from Keb. When I rang he said “Hello” “I told him everything, before I hang up he said “It was me.”

__Wednesday 22 June 2011__

“Jimmy hurry up and leave to get the food for the party tonight.” “Ok, ok I’m leaving soon, but where is the list for what we need tonight.” “I think it’s on the bench by the toaster.”

I hopped over toward the toaster and grabbed the list. I then turned toward the door and ran out slamming the door shut. I jumped down the stairs and jumped into his shiny black striped Porsche Career and carefully and slowly drove out of his driveway. I sped down the road heading for the “New World” supermarket.

Arriving at New World he walked inside and grabbed a trolley. I pulled the list out of his ribbed jean pocket and then looked for the chips. I grabbed two of each flavour and then searched for the lollies. I thought long and hard about what lollies he should get because their was some much to choose from. I decided to get some chocolate lollies and then some sweet and sour lollies as well. I placed them in his rusty trolley and then grabbed the rest of what he thought he should get. I got to the checkout and then looked across the street. He saw dozens of police cars all parked across the road. I looked across the building and saw two police officers talking to what looked like the owner of New World. He was approaching me and then veered to his right and started talking to the women at my checkout. The police man asked “Have you seen or heard anything from across the street?” The lady at my checkout looked at the man blatantly and then said “No I haven’t, Why?” “Their has been a robbery across the road and were just looking for witnesses.” He replied. I looked at the women and she looked sad and terrified. The police officers left and then the women continued to scan my food. She finished scanning and then packed them in bags. Passing the bank I saw investigators looking inside for clues and evidence.

I arrived home and grabbed his food and walked up the stairs to his apartment. I opened the door and chucked the food on the bench and then called out “George I’m home.” “Where are you?” “Jimmy I’m in the lounge putting balloons up.” “Why do we need balloons?” Jimmy replied. “It’s a party and every party needs balloons otherwise it’s not a party.”

I grabbed the lollies off of the bench and pored them into a white bowl. I got the rest of his food and put them into dishes so everyone could nibble on them. “Jimmy, have you finished preparing the food?” asked George “Yes” Jimmy replied.

“Jimmy their’s someone at the door for our party.” “I’ll get it then.” “Hello Luke welcome to our party.”

Within minutes I realised that Nicholas, James, Luke, Keb, Taylor and Daniel arrived at the party and that we could start to have some fun. Nicholas and James were hanging out with each other talking about how good the party is. I saw Keb, Taylor and Luke all sitting on the couch watching the football and scoffing lollies and chips into their mouths at the same time. Something wasn’t wright because I looked outside and then saw that Keb’s car had four big black sacks in the back seat with what looked like money. I thought I must have been dreaming and then turned m focus to Daniel. He was the D.J for the night and he is really good at choosing song’s because I liked everyone of them that he choose. I shouted to Daniel “Keep the music down in case the neighbours complain about the noise. Before I knew it the party was over, and I started to say goodbye to everyone. There was a knock at the door. I opened the door and saw two police officers standing at the door. I thought that my neighbours had complained about the noise but instead of asking anything One of the men grabbed me and chucked me in his car along with George.

Opening my eye’s I realised that I was in the police station with George. I saw a police officer walking toward me. He entered the room and slammed the door behind him. I looked around and realised that I was in a prison sell

__Tuesday 21 June 2011__

“Jimmy hurry up and leave to get the food for the party tonight.” “Ok, ok I’m leaving soon, but where is the list for what we need tonight.” “I think it’s on the bench by the toaster.”

I hopped over toward the toaster and grabbed the list. I then turned toward the door and ran out slamming the door shut. I jumped down the stairs and jumped into his shiny black striped Porsche Career and carefully and slowly drove out of his driveway. I sped down the road heading for the “New World” supermarket.

Arriving at New World he walked inside and grabbed a trolley. I pulled the list out of his ribbed jean pocket and then looked for the chips. I grabbed two of each flavour and then searched for the lollies. I thought long and hard about what lollies he should get because their was some much to choose from. I decided to get some chocolate lollies and then some sweet and sour lollies as well. I placed them in his rusty trolley and then grabbed the rest of what he thought he should get. I got to the checkout and then looked across the street. He saw dozens of police cars all parked across the road. I looked across the building and saw two police officers talking to what looked like the owner of New World. He was approaching me and then veered to his right and started talking to the women at my checkout. The police man asked “Have you seen or heard anything from across the street?” The lady at my checkout looked at the man blatantly and then said “No I haven’t, Why?” “Their has been a robbery across the road and were just looking for witnesses.” He replied. I looked at the women and she looked sad and terrified. The police officers left and then the women continued to scan my food. She finished scanning and then packed them in bags. Passing the bank I saw investigators looking inside for clues and evidence.

I arrived home and grabbed his food and walked up the stairs to his apartment. I opened the door and chucked the food on the bench and then called out “George I’m home.” “Where are you?” “Jimmy I’m in the lounge putting balloons up.” “Why do we need balloons?” Jimmy replied. “It’s a party and every party needs balloons otherwise it’s not a party.

__Friday 10 June 2011__

Creativity

Creativity lives in a house that is filled with art work and drawings that are covered with gold trophies. His house is painted with every colour imaginable and can be seen from a mile away, which inspires others to think outside the box.

__Thursday 9 June 2011 __

I decided that I wouldn’t wait for them, I was so excited to begin my adventure to find the giant squid. I woke the next morning and was feeling a lot better I was excited as ever. “What’s happening”

The giant squids were getting closer and closer and then I looked at some of the crew members. Their faces were filled with fear. I asked the captain what we were going to do. The captain looked at me with a frightened face and said nothing. I decided that I had to do something otherwise no one would ever no about the giant squid. I asked all of the crew members to huddle in. The captain just stood in the same position doing nothing. I finished telling the crew what they should do. Some of them didn’t think that we would make it back the port, but they decided to take their chances. I told the captain to quickly head to the port. He hobbled over toward the front of the ship. He tried to fire up the engine of the ship and then begged that it would start. The engine eventually started. The captain then turned the ship around and tried to direct them and the ship back to the port. I knew that the ship wouldn’t go very fast but I knew that we had a lead ahead of the giant squids. The captain had to drive all through the night to keep ahead of the squids and not loose any ground. The red blobs on the radar started to quickly get closer to where our ship was. Their chances of making it back to the port were getting slimmer and slimmer because the ship wasn’t fast enough and the squids were to fast and strong. The crew were all resting to make sure that they had all the energy they had in case they had to jump off of the ship and swim the rest of the way back to the port. Within a few hours of the next day, the captain and I could both see the port ahead. The giant squids were only a few hundred metres behind the old rusty ship. I quickly ran to the crew members rooms and woke them up. They were all quickly up and awake. They all got prepared to a abandon the ship. The squids were all lined up in their groups. I could see the surface of the water rising 50 or 60 metres behind the back of the ship. Then thumping out of the water were 2 giant squids. They were much larger than the squid that we had captured and was on the ship. Then I realised that the squids were the mum and dad of the squid that we had killed. All I could see were giant tentacles reaching out in front of them trying to grab a hold of our ship.

__Wednesday 8 June 2011__

According to the survey 33% of kids like to read adventure books. The results show that most kids like main characters that are brave, strong, funny and aren’t evil. Another thing the survey showed is that kids at the age of 11, 12 and 13 like reading books that are in a city or in a country. Other results show that 49% of kids will judge a book by the look of the cover. Our survey also shows that 61% or 138 people out of 226 people like to read books were the main character is human. A key factor in our survey is that almost half of the people we surveyed like reading books that are set in present time. More of the results show that kids like main characters who are friends or who are enemies. Result’s in one of the graphs show that 64%of kids like to read books that are written in first person. Most kids like books that make them like laughing and makes them feel excited. Most of the kids we surveyed like a mystery that has been solved but then another one unravels. Lot’s of kids like books that have an element in truth.

Recommendation

There are 2 good friends and then an evil man. They all live in a city called California America. The good friends are called Dave, Michael and the evil man they know is called Georgie. Georgie has been in prison 5 times for trying to kidnap and then suck people’s blood like Dave and Michael. Georgie isn’t a vampire but he is a dangerous person who likes to catch and kidnap young boy’s and girls! “Their is a massive tornado in california right know”. The tornado went right between the prison in california and no-one is known to be alive. Dave and Michael were listening on the news and heard about the tornado and figured that they should check their parents. They arrive and discover the house is fine but No-one is home!